Wednesday, December 28, 2011

My Life

Has come to the point where I almost cried over the fact that I could not find my size shoes while internet shopping. There are some serious issues under this compulsive shopping spree I'm brains are leaking out of my ears

Tuesday, December 27, 2011



NETFLIX. Fuck you for posting up a bunch of romantic comedies and then pulling me in to watch them with your evil sorcery. I hate you, but I love you because you have Godard and both Hepburns and all that other good stuff. ugh. I think this is the closest I'v come to a relationship in MONTHS and it's already a relationshit. A relationshit, with my netflix. I really need some of this shit up in my life :

Monday, December 26, 2011


Alexander Wang Jules combo oxfords for Opening Ceramony.
all mine!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Assholes, Super-rats, Cowboys

There is a fine line between being the girl who gets walked all over and the girl who will stand with you through everything, the girl who won't turn her back no matter how hard you push. I have been struggling with this fine line, and often times I find that I am in limbo of the two. On one hand my patience has proven my love and loyalty, on the other hand it has allowed a certain someone to take advantage of my forgiving nature and stomp on my heart. They say that anything worth having is worth fighting for. Okay I follow the logic, but when is it time to put your foot down? See this asshole in my life is a super asshole sometimes, or 'super-rat'. Sometimes it's as though he hit every branch falling down the asshole tree and fell splat transforming into a pile of shit that only an ass could shit out. I feel bad for him, I pity him and his miserable lonely existence that is at a constant battle with himself, and in between all of this pity and sorrow, I remembered, what about me? Cliches exist for a reason, and that's probably because they are true, but here is another one for you: if you want respect then earn respect and you must respect yourself before you can expect anyone else to. Respect is given to those we either admire, or fear, and sometimes both. It's often true that we admire the ones we love, and hidden in there is a bit of fear. Loving someone makes you vulnerable, gives a little bit of power over you to someone else. It's terrifying. This person could break your heart, ruin your character, of course it's scary, like shit your pants scary. That is why you must wisely chose the one you love. They say we have no control over that, I don't quite believe it. I think we make choices in what we like about people and what we don't like. I for instance like rebels, a bit of a bad boy. This is asking for trouble. The bad boys are either 19 year old pot smoking dead beats or 60 year old pot smoking dead beats, the bad boys in the ages in between are in their moms basement. Like the old country Western goes Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys
'Cause they'll never stay home and they're always alone
Even with someone they love
I think that as women we do have the power to control what traits attract us. Not that I have actually tried this theory. But I'm going to start, because I really am sick of assholes, super rats, and cowboys. Not that I will be walking about with a preped up yuppie as my new piece of arm candy, but I think a change in behavior is due. 
Also, listen to this fucking song, I don't care if you think country is lame, this one speaks to all women, wether he is a cowboy, super-rat or what have you. This is the song. 

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

My Favorite Sisters

Every magazine is ablaze with the new trend of famous sisters, the Fannings, the Olsens, the Middletons, the Simpsons, and lets not forget the Kardashians, well the list goes on and on. My bias opinion leads me to my two favorite sisters who are barely talked about and only brought back to my consciousness due to Netflix. The Mckellar sisters from The Wonder Years. The good hearty Winnie and Becky who were not sent to rehab for god knows what reason, and not diagnosed with some sort or eating disorder, nor have any sort of sex tape leaking out. 
Here is lookin at you kid

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Old Friends

I'm breaking up with you, Rick Levine.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011
You're ruling planet Venus -- the goddess of love -- enters futuristic Aquarius and your 5th House of Romance today, re-energizing a current relationship or catalyzing a new one. This is likely to be a joyful time, but you could lessen your chances for happiness if you become overly attached. Enjoy the thrills and chills of fun and games without letting your emotions get in the way.

Yea right...this libra and her aquarius are not 're-energizing' nor is there anything being catalyzed. Except for this horrid sinus infection which is acting as a catalyst for my wretched, impetuous, lazy, miserable behavior. 'This is likely to be a joyful time' — what the fuck kind of rainbows and glitter acid trip are you on Rick Levine? THIS is a rotten time, like black plague in England sort of rotten. Its cold, I'm too lazy to get anyone anything, I'm in a rotten mood, I'm cold, I'm perpetually hungry, I'm stuck inside because IT'S FUCKING COLD and the cab drivers can't take directions so it's hopeless cause leaving the indoors, and all of my friends are too wrapped up n their fairytale dream relationship and/or too busy hustling to play therapist with me. So no, this is not a fucking joyful time. 
I think its time to change my daily horoscope resources...

Friday, December 16, 2011

RINSED interview

I wonder who Maybeline is....

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

I'll have some of that


I’m not gonna lie…I’m kind of a Grinch when it comes to Christmas. I used to love it when I was younger, I’m not gonna deny that I would be the first one to put on Frank Sinatra’s Christmas music and look forward to roasted chestnuts but these days the only kind of roasting I want to do is the retarded DJ’s nuts who put on that sappy Christmas music. I hate the bustle of shopping for gifts. I hate the fucking cold weather. Fuck. That. Shit. And the goddamn Santa with the fucking bell jingling for the salvation army making me feel like shit for not donating the 2 cents I have left in my pocket after having gotten the giant sized starbucks cancer coffee. I mean come on…
Most of all I HATE being alone during the holidays. It’s the worst. It’s as though every single little thing was geared toward couple activities. What is up with that? Like ‘share the warmth and joy of gift giving’- crappy JCPenny commercial with a corny republican looking couple with the man giving diamond earrings while she gives him socks or some shit. It’s as though they are about to start promoting shit like ‘hey wait in line together for the bathroom! Its holiday cheer!’ or ‘take a shit together while holding hands, how special, Nikon coolpix will capture all of your warmest memories’. Please someone choke me. I wince at the sight of couples holding hands skating about and though I myself would rather slit my throat with a ice skating blade then do that with my man friend it still makes me a little jealous of their saccharin happiness. Despite knowing that after they have their hot coco, wipe the foam off each other’s noses, and go home to have average sex, being that all of these things cause me nausea, I am still jealous. And ever so irritated at myself for being jealous. My idea of spending a good time during the holidays with my man friend is being bundled up on a comfy couch with a couple 40’s, cheap Chinese food and South Park’s Christmas specials. That brings warmth to my heart and would make me immensely happy. And only at this point would I entertain the notion of holiday cheer.
As far as I am concerned I’m going into hibernation and doing my best to avoid people for the next few months, at least till it all thaws out.  And no I will not be attending your stupid holiday parties where everyone wears those horrid holiday sweaters.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

The Mean Reds

Doc Golightly: I love you Lula Mae. 
Holly Golightly: I know you do, and that's just the trouble. It's the mistake you always made, Doc, trying to love a wild thing. You were always lugging home wild things. Once it was a hawk with a broken wing... and another time it was a full-grown wildcat with a broken leg. Remember? 
Doc Golightly: Lula Mae there's something... 
Holly Golightly: You musn't give your heart to a wild thing. The more you do, the stronger they get, until they're strong enough to run into the woods or fly into a tree. And then to a higher tree and then to the sky. 


I need some of this shit up in my life.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Witchcraft and Wizardry 101

Addendum to session two:

Never love a man who does not love himself enough to love you more. 

Class dismissed.

Friday, December 9, 2011

I just realized...

I have no blond friends...hah.

Witchcraft and Wizardry 101


That is what my brain feels like right now.

Session two:
"My love is enough for the both of us" — sounds nice don't it? Yea, well that my friends, is an EPIC FAIL shit show waiting to happen. Never love a man who does not love himself.

class dismissed.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Witchcraft and Wizardry 101

Ok so maybe it doesn't take a wizard to detect a jerk.
Unless you are me. These sessions will be based on improving your skills in detecting a jerk, douchebag, asshole, pacifist, and any other sort of confused individual who can't help but ruin the things he comes upon because he is too confused to know what to do with it (including his penis).
Session one:
After having slept together several times within the course of a few days if he repeatedly tells you he "really likes to have sex," make sure that it's followed by "with you". If not, this probably means he is a sex addict (but who isn't), or a man whore. And sometimes both. Ouch.
Class dismissed.