On Men

And speaking of shit, constipation has always been a greater
fear to me than cancer. (We'll get back to Mad Jimmy. Listen, I told
you I write this way.) If I miss one day without shitting, I can't go
anywhere, do anything-I got so desperate when that happens that
often times I try to suck my own cock to unclog my system, to get
things going again. And if you've ever tried to suck your own cock
then you only know the terrible strain on the backbone, neckbone,
every muscle, everything. You stroke the thing up as long as it will
get then you really double up like some creature on a torture rack,
legs way over your head and locked around the bedrungs, your
asshole twitching like a dying sparrow in the frost, everything bent
together around your great beer belly, all your muscle sheathes
ripped to shit, and what hurts in that you don't miss by a foot or
two-you miss by an eighth of an inch-the end of your tongue
and the tip of your cock that close, but it might as well be an
eternity or forty miles. God, or whoever the hell, knew just what He
was doing when He put us together.
- Charles Bukowski
Tales Of Ordinary Madness (Nut Ward Just East Of Hollywood)