Shitty Titty

NEWS FUCKING FLASH:
saggy tits ARE NOT AN ACCESSORY 
camel toe IS NOT AN ACCESSORY
CELLULITE SURE AS SHIT AINT AN ACCESSORY. 

Okay so I'm not the fashion police, however, when I see trash, I call it how it is.Now let me start off by saying that summer is a great time for women; we can show some skin, our hair has an extra shimmer to it, our skin starts to turn slightly gold or a perfectly cute pink, our eyes seem to have more then one shade of color and we just look like goddesses in general. HOWEVER. There is ALWAYS that one chick who fucks it all up. The trashy chick. Here is the deal, bras, were ment for support, not to sport. Keep that shit under the shirt. Now a little lace here and there is okay, perhaps a slightly see through shirt with a cute bra under can pass if done right, but lettin that shit just all out, u-uh. And please know your body type, if you have saggy tits, dont take of your shirt off to confirm what we already know, especially not if you are not wearing the proper equipment to lift those sand bags up a little. Gravity is not your friend saggy tits chick. And the whole "if you can't fight it join it" motto is completely unsuitable for this problem. I dont care what you have to do, get a fork lift if you must, just keep that shit in check, I don't want to be seeing dried raisins populating the streets of this already fucked up city. I know it's summer time and you want to let lose, but please don't disturb the peace with your indecent exposure. 
Oh and let's also talk about short shorts. Now these "shongs" /"thorts" (thong+shorts) are great on our gazelle Gisele with 0 cellulite at 5'10, 36-24-35, and look fantastic on airbrushed models, HOWEVER, fashion is sometimes misleading. Often the pudgy tink likes to make an appearance at these fashion disasters (Scarlett Johansson is my favorite example of the celebrity pudgy tink, see below if you need confirmation). Lookie here, no body is perfect, except for victoria secret angels, so please, if you spot cellulite, or as I like to call it, matres syndrom, orange peel victime and crates of wrath, then I suggest you put down those thorts, hit the gym, and don't leave until you get ride of every single one of those grand canyons. OR you can be like a decent fucking human being and just get a normal pair of shorts which you can avoid camel toe and (if you still havent mastered the front to back maneuver) skid marks with. Reality check people, shorts are shorts, thongs are thongs, nobody wants to see your cellulite riden ass and labia majora hangin out around town. GET YOUR SHIT IN CHECK.