Tune Up Your Vocabulary

Okay so I requested one of my nearest and dearest friends to guest post on my blog because she is hilarious and has this extraordinary quality of being able to say the dirtiest things while maintaining her lady like composure. Now I told y'all once and I'll tell y'all again, I roll with the best, fuck the rest. 

Warning: you might piss your pants. 

Is it just me, or is it getting harder and harder to insult people? Whatever happened to just calling someone an asshole and being done with it? Or saying “U Suck!” (loudly of course)? Wit and expansive reference knowledge has become necessary to put someone down it seems… Ms. Mey is Queen of this sort of name-calling, whereas me, I like to keep things short and sweet. I am a fan of the nasty epithet, making everyday words offensive. Nothing too long, and straight to the point. I don’t have the time or the quickness to craft masterful verbal abuse. So I turn to these bad boys…

Cum receptacle/ Cum Guzzler (n.)- Words like whore, ho, and slut do not cut it any more in this cut-throat world, where rappers and free- style battles reign. This is an easy quick to the point way of calling a person those generic nouns, all while making them think about it.

Dick Licker (n.)- This is one of my favoritest things to call a guy when they get me angry. For some reason, it gets every straight guy massively offended. I guess it is the connotations that put this over as well, especially if the guy spends so much time defending his masculinity.

Penis breath (n.)- This word creeps into the cum receptacle and dick licker territory, because it is replete with implications and connotations which are not apparent right off the bat.

Masturbation tool- Along the same lines as cum receptacle and cum guzzler, this implies empty easy sex with the same connotations that come with the typical, slut whore, hooker vein, it’s just a little classier.

Slore (n.)- This word is taking the words slut and whore to a whole new level, it is a monster combo that combines the two very divergent words mixing together all the terrible, nasty and dirty connotations (cause ya know there is a difference). Slooker falls into this category as well.

Smut/ Smut a tut tut (n.)- Borderline tame and generic epithet, but just roll off the tongue with nasty ease.

Cuntiface (n. or adj.)- Every time I hear this or say this, I laugh and automatically feel a tremendous amount of pity (maybe spiteful pity) for the person this is referring to. It is awful, but delightfully malicious all at the same time. Killer combo: Cuntiface twat… if you really want to go there

twat/ tit-  both borrowed from the other side of the pond, this is one of my favorites. Short, sweet, right to the point and almost obscure.  Twat is just hilarious and disgusting. Tit is similar to douche bag and asshole according to my understanding, but it can be morphed to your own liking.

Dick wad- A classic retort, age old but still relevant.

Douche (n.)- variants include; douche bag, db, douche breath. These in my opinion sometimes are attached with a playful “Bro” attitude. But when used outside your group of friends it has a stronger impact.

Ass part- What could be worse? Maybe cuntiface…

Trifflin’ (adj)- It is an old school word, even my mother uses it, but putting this adjective in front of anything makes it ten times worse.

I hope you find these useful in your next verbal battle. On top of the words, it is all about tone of voice…

Check out my blog (relisherr.blogspot.com)

It’s been real

xx